Photo credit: D Sharon Pruitt

With awareness and a determination to feel better, we turn to the question of self-honesty. Even if we think we are very honest people, we can still be lying to ourselves. The tricky thing is we don’t always know it.

Have you ever lied to yourself? Self-lies can be very subtle:

• Staying in a job you aren’t happy with out of fear
• Expecting your partner to meet your needs even when you haven’t stated them explicitly
• Saying yes when you want to say no
• Not pursuing interests because you don’t believe you deserve to be happy
• Taking care of others needs before your own, thinking they will then take care of you
• Believing you are too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, too this or too that, rather than accepting yourself as is

I was lucky in an early interest and commitment to the truth. On one hand, I believed in telling the truth no matter how it hurt and suffered some negative consequences as a result. On the other hand, when I was young and had no control over my home life, withdrawing from the world was a coping mechanism. Blocking the pain – the pain of the true situation – was necessary to survive. Eventually the drive for truth has overcome the avoidance of pain, and as I’ve become ready to face up, I’ve gained deeper levels of self-knowledge and acceptance.

How about you? How honest are you with yourself?

Stay tuned for more on the 10 traits of personal change:

1. Self-awareness
2. Desire to feel better
3. Belief that it is possible to feel better
4. Rigorous self-honesty
5. Humility
6. Open-mindedness
7. Detachment from others
8. Willingness
9. Persistence
10. Personal responsibility

Next: Humility

Tweet