It’s true. I’m insanely, completely in love with and committed to my serenity.
For me, serenity means peace of mind. Literally, having a mind at peace. It’s important to me that I can maintain my serenity no matter what is going on around me. I devote a significant amount of time and energy to this pursuit so that I always know, whether I have calm or drama in my personal relationships, whether work is going smoothly or threatens my financial security, whether the world is at peace or at war, I can keep my mind clear and easy.
Today I can bring my mind to a peaceful place most of the time. But it wasn’t always so. As a child, I developed a great deal of anxiety, which evolved into thought patterns that were full of fear. I learned to anticipate the negative, and to ignore the possibility of the positive. I fell into hating almost everything about myself, from my outer appearances to my inner core.
For years I was mired in chronic depression, knowing that something was wrong, but unable to identify what exactly it was. All I really knew was that I wanted to feel better. It’s taken many years and numerous avenues of help to identify what was missing. Peace of mind.
To find my way to a consistently peaceful mind, I’ve had to overcome the damages of my past, and my fears of the future. I’ve learned that when I can be fully present – paying attention to what is happening here and now without reference to past or future – then I am most peaceful. When I’m in the present, I feel good about myself and the world, about myself in the world. Sometimes I call that feeling God, sometimes just the universe, sometimes unconditional love.
My antidote to self-hatred is peace of mind.
It may sound simple, but it’s not easy. Organized religion never worked for me, and so I’ve made my own way along a path of truth for myself. From many sources, I’ve developed a set of behavioral and emotional tools and techniques that continually remind me to return to the present. I look forward to sharing that path with you and hearing about yours.