Finding your path is up to you – though based on my experience, I recommend sampling from a variety of options before piecing together your own unique set of practices. It’s important to explore what feels like the right technique or set of techniques for you. My path happens to be a 12-step program, but I still consider many other practices to supplement and enhance my growth.

We started exploring techniques with the recent post from Jen Smith on How to Develop a Peace Habit – making a focus on peace a priority. This week, I invited blogger and author Angela Artemis of Powered by Intuition to share on her specialty – leveraging intuition as a guide to inner knowledge that can reduce stress levels and bring us more serenity. She ends with some practical suggestions for incorporating the technique into our daily lives. Enjoy!

To Increase Peace of Mind, Develop Your Intuition
by Angela Artemis, Powered by Intuition

Committing to a daily practice of intuition strengthening exercises increases your peace of mind.

There are many practical benefits of developing your intuition that I cover in my book, “The Intuition Principle.” Some of the many benefits are that it increases your creativity, problem solving abilities, confidence, competence, empathy and compassion, memory, luck, health, decision-making and focus but, the top two on the list are stress reduction and peace of mind.

Have you ever taken a video of your child on vacation at, say, a theme park like Disneyworld?

The camera captures the image of your child and all the people who are passing by plus, all the details of Disneyworld in the background.

Had you taken that same video with the zoom lens on you would see more of your child in the video and very little of Disneyworld.

Developing your intuition changes what you focus upon very much like using a zoom lens changes the focus of the video in the example.

When we narrow our focus from a “wide lens” to a “zoom lens” we remove distractions from pulling our thinking off in many directions and this reduces stress and increases peace of mind.

Origins of stress

Often stress is caused by having too many thoughts competing for your attention at one time. For example, your attention might be splintered by thoughts of everything you need to accomplish that is on your to-do list; how little time you have; fears of doing an inadequate job; worries about your children, spouse or aging parent and a myriad of other things all at the same time. No wonder you feel stressed. You are allowing your thoughts to take over and send you on a wild goose chase by every thought that enters your mind.

Meditation increases intuition and peace of mind

One of the best ways to heighten intuition is to commit to a practice of meditation. When you meditate regularly you begin to hear your intuition more often and to identify it with more ease. When you slow down the thinking mind by going within you turn on your own “zoom” lens. Turning on this inner “zoom lens” also puts your thoughts in “slow motion.”

When you eliminate distracting thoughts and slow down the pace of thoughts, you automatically become calmer. A calm mind is a better environment for fostering intuition than a frenzied one. When thoughts and intuition don’t fly through the mind as quickly, they can be captured and remembered more easily by your mind.

This is the real secret of hearing your intuition. You are already more intuitive than you are aware of. It’s just that all the stress producing thoughts have been drowning out your intuitive thoughts.

Develop your intuition to increase confidence and competence

Once you have begun to develop your intuition not only do you clear your mind of distracting thoughts but you also become more confident and competent. The reason for this is that you begin to hear the guidance of your intuition more often. This wisdom that surfaces in your mind has always been there but, it was drowned out by the wild band of thoughts that had taken over your mind. Now that your mind is calm and focused this wisdom stand out among your thoughts when it surfaces.

Having the answers to problems you’ve been struggling with surface in your mind is calming and reassuring. After a few times of seeing how elegantly this works you begin to relax and trust that the answers will always come to you when you need them. This “trust” translates to confidence in your ability to solve problems in your life and in your own competence. And, the confidence you now exude emerges as a higher level of competency in everything you do.

How to put the power of intuition development to work in your life to increase your own peace of mind, confidence and competence:

1. Commit to a practice of meditation each day. It takes just 20 hours of cumulative meditation practice to make lasting changes to your brain’s physiology. Meditating for as little as twenty minutes each day will result in an increase in your intuition and peace of mind in just 60 days. If you want to speed up your results meditate for ½ hour day so you see results in 40 days or practice ½ hour twice per day to see results in 20 days.
2. Practice stimulating your intuition on a daily basis. Before meeting friends at a restaurant for a meal close your eyes and ask yourself what your friends will be wearing or what they will order from the menu. When the phone rings, stop and ask yourself who is calling. While in meditation each day visualize yourself “receiving” the answers to problems in your life. Feel how happy and excited you are to have the answers come to you.
3. Put the power of affirmations to work in your life. Affirmations help focus your mind. Whenever you feel yourself getting stressed by competing thoughts which pull you in 100 different directions immediately begin repeating this affirmation: I am calm, focused and in control of my thoughts. I choose now to relax and focus on the task at hand. All is well. Or, create your own affirmation.

Follow these simple steps and within 40 to 60 days you will see your peace of mind increase along with your confidence and competence in everything you do.

Angela Artemis, an intuition coach, is on a mission to teach readers around the world to “speak intuition” so that they unlock all the brilliant potential that resides within and start living the life of their dreams now—not later. She is the author of the Amazon best-selling book, Navigating by Intuition – How to Follow The Signs, The Intuition Primer – Practical Lessons to Launch Your Intuition and The Intuition Principle – How to Attract the Life You Dream Of. She blogs at Powered by Intuition.

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Photo credit (baby with earphones): D. Sharon Pruitt, Pink Sherbet Photography

Photo credit: Erica Marshall

In the midst of exploring Techniques for achieving peace of mind through our PACT with ourselves (see last post by Jennifer Smith on How to Build a Peace Habit), a friend of mine shared some thoughts on an earlier post in the series, Want Peace in Personal Conflict? Improve Your Attitude! .

Coming from his Buddhist background, he expanded the chart on old vs. new attitudes with an addition – the “Wisdom” that makes a shift in attitudes possible. Taking on new attitudes mean changing our belief system. Shifting old beliefs is difficult – like the age-old problem of moving a wheel from a rut in the road. It takes new information, practiced over and over again, to make the change happen.

Here’s what he sent me:

I really liked his approach and decided to apply it to the chart from my original post. The column with bold text is new.

Are you willing to consider new wisdom and begin incorporating it into your thinking and behavior? Share examples of how you’ve made shifts in your attitudes and the results you’ve gotten.

Photo credit: John Althouse Cohen

Are you ready to bring more peace of mind into your life? So far in our PACT series, we’ve talked about changing our Attitudes and building Characteristics that support serenity over anxiety. Now it’s time to look at how we can Practice Techniques on a regular basis to make peace a habit, not an occasional place we visit.

Making a PACT (Practice Attitudes, Characteristics, and Techniques) with ourselves for peace of mind means we must practice doing something different. I’ve invited some guest bloggers to share their ideas on techniques for creating peace of mind. Today we hear from Jennifer Smith, a life coach and personal development writer, who brings us “How to Build a Peace Habit.”

How To Build A Peace Habit, by Jennifer Smith

Peace of mind is something we all desire; however, it is often only when we are lacking peace of mind that we really appreciate it. We exercise physically to have a supple and healthy body, so why not exercise mentally to create a peaceful state of mind? Here are a few ideas of ways you can build the habit of peacefulness into your life:

Intention

The intention to be peaceful is key. As I said above, it is often when we are lacking peace of mind (in times of crisis or conflict for example) that we really appreciate a peaceful state of mind. Having the intention to be peaceful regularly helps to keep it as a focus. Without an intention, we are at the mercy of the external and internal changes we come across.

Practice

Practicing being peaceful during your day to day activities is where you build up your muscle with creating a peaceful state of mind. How can we expect to switch to a peaceful state of mind in the middle of a crisis if we can’t do it to transform our day to day annoyances?

Thich Nhat Hanh shares in his book Peace Is Every Step that we can use situations that anger us in our daily life to practice peace. He suggests for example, using red traffic lights as a simple reminder to bring ourselves back to our true nature of peace. I have managed to stop myself at times when I feel the habitual anger arising in traffic by remembering this and brought back my peace of mind.

Breathe

Being aware of our breathing is a good tool for bringing ourselves back to the present moment and practicing mindfulness. When we are concentrating on our breathing, there is nothing else to do.

Avoid Over-stimulation

Many of us have bad habits that over stimulate our minds and take us away from peacefulness. Simple things like drinking too much caffeine are more obvious, but other things like gossiping and watching negative films or TV programs affect our peace of mind in more insidious ways.

 Add To Your Peacefulness Quota

How can you top up your sense of peacefulness on a regular basis? What helps you feel relaxed? There are some obvious tools like meditation and yoga that are available. We are all different though and what enhances peacefulness for one person, won’t for another. Fishing, walking in nature or completing cross word puzzles might be other ways that help you feel peaceful.

Micro-action: Write down a list of things that help you feel peaceful.

How do you practice peacefulness? What you add or take away from your daily life to strengthen your peace habit?

Jen is a Life Coach and Personal Development Writer who can be found at jenmsmith.com. 

Photo credit: What Makes the Pie Shops Tick

Having made a PACT to Practice Attitudes and Characteristics using serenity-building Techniques, let’s consider Characteristics.

Previously on Insanely Serene we explored the personal traits that determine our ability to change ourselves, Do You Have What it Takes to Change? Check the 10 Personal Traits. These are important elements in creating peace of mind on a regular basis as well. As a reminder, here’s the list:

1. Self-awareness
2. Desire to feel better
3. Belief that it is possible to feel better
4. Rigorous self-honesty
5. Humility
6. Open-mindedness
7. Detachment from others
8. Willingness
9. Persistence
10. Personal responsibility

To refine our focus on increasing serenity, we can add several other personal characteristics.

Surrender/Humility

Human beings have willpower; it’s an essential part of our nature and ability to determine the course of our lives and success. But when willpower runs amuck, it actually gets in the way of success and peace of mind. Thinking we are in control of everything and everybody in our lives leads to a lot of unhappiness, anxiety, and stress.

On the other side of willpower is surrender – allowing the idea that there could be another way, one we can’t necessarily see or control within our viewpoint. Surrendering is letting go of our ego and willpower and deciding to allow this greater perspective to help guide our lives. Usually, we aren’t willing to let go of our willpower until we’ve bashed our heads against the wall enough times and are in enough anxiety and fear that we are ready to do something different.

Surrender is key to peace of mind because it gives us permission to relax, not have to control every aspect of our lives at every moment of every day, and trust that there’s more going on than we can see in our limited view.

Courage

Fear is the number one killer of serenity and peace of mind. Again, it’s a normal human response and in proper application serves us well. But when it’s grown too big for its britches, it’s time to cut it loose. Often, however, the idea of letting go of fear, when it’s what we’re used to and comfortable with, breeds more fear. That’s why we need courage.

Courage is fear that has said its prayers. —Dorothy Bernard

Courage is not a lack of fear, it’s acting in the face of it. When we have fear, and know we have it, but decide to face it and take the action that scares us, that is courage. Choosing the path of peace when we’ve lived largely in anxiety feels unfamiliar and can bring discomfort. Moving forward in those choices, despite the discomfort, and staying focused on the hope of better outcomes takes courage.

Letting Go/Allowing/Acceptance

Grabbing the bull by the horns and making our own success is the American way. Many of us believe in climbing the career ladders, accumulating goods, marrying and having a family, investing in education, building our savings, and retiring to live the good life.

These goals are inherently neither good nor bad, it is our attitudes and approaches to achieving them that drive our levels of peace of mind. We often adopt a willful and controlling approach to building our lives – forcing our will and grabbing on and clinging to the next rungs on the ladders to success. We become obsessed, fearful of losing what we have, and focused on gaining the next brass ring, which leads down the path of unhappiness.

It is entirely possible to pursue our goals of achievement and success with serenity along the way. But we do have to let go of forcing it to look the way we think it should, and allow for the results to unfold in ways we may or may not expect.  If you don’t get the position you interviewed for and really want, it could be there is something even better out there. Letting go of your desired outcomes supports peace of mind.

One of the reasons that Surrender, Courage, and Acceptance lead to peace of mind is because they encourage us to trust in our “Bigger Story.” We all have dreams for our lives, stories we tell ourselves and others. Sometimes we limit our ideas, sometimes we have grandiose visions. But they only go as far as we can think or imagine. There are far more factors at work in our lives, through our relationships and circumstances, and for those of us who believe, through our spiritual connections to God/the universe. If we stick too rigidly to our own blueprint, we might miss the bigger picture of what we can truly accomplish. When we listen for the signals that put us on this greater path, we lessen our anxiety and increase our serenity.

You may be looking at this list and thinking, “What if I don’t have all of these characteristics, can I still find peace of mind?” The answer is yes. We can all develop these traits, starting wherever we are at this point. That’s why our next focus in this series is on Techniques we can use to practice peace of mind, and another characteristic critical to maintaining peace of mind: Discipline.

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On Balance, Where's Your Attitude?

Last week we looked at attitudes (What’s in an Attitude? Only Peace of Mind) and how they affect peace of mind. Now let’s get down to brass tacks with practical examples in an area we all struggle with at different points – relationship conflict.

Relationship conflict is certainly in the top 10 causes of stress and anxiety for most of us. Conflict can take the form of verbal and physical fighting or appear more subtly as avoidance, repressed anger, resentment, grudge-holding, silent treatments, disrespect, and dishonesty.

Here are some familiar (if negative) responses to conflict with others:

We blame others

• “They did [X] to me, so it’s their fault we’re fighting and they should be the ones to apologize and make this right!”
• “That person is [fill in the blank ______________; eg., selfish, mean, rude] and does not deserve my effort to resolve this.”
• “I’m right and she’s wrong!”

We blame ourselves

• “It’s all my fault, if only I hadn’t done [X], this would never have happened!”
• “I’m such a mess-up, I should just withdraw and not address this, and pretend it never happened. I’ll just keep my mouth shut from now on.”
• “No matter what I do, I get into this kind of conflict. There’s just no point in even trying!”

No matter how we respond, the basic fact is that most people do not like or enjoy conflict with others. We want to feel peaceful and happy in our interactions with others.

Here’s the amazingly good news about conflict: We can feel better whether or not the other person cooperates!

But how do we do this? How can we feel better when it seems to depend on someone else – don’t we have to deal with that person directly and have a resolution first?

The answer is no. We can feel better, whether the other person is involved or not, by changing our attitudes. When we improve our attitudes, we can directly affect our feelings about conflict.

Applying Improved Attitudes

If we truly want peace of mind, we can replace old attitudes with new ones. The first step, as always, is to practice awareness. Recognizing those negative attitudes and acknowledging them opens the door to trying something new. Here are some examples of improved attitudes in relation to personal conflict:

How Do I Get From Here to There?

As with all personal change, improving our attitudes takes time and effort. It’s a process of trial and error that looks something like this:

• Become aware we have negative attitudes
• Understand how they are playing out and how they are affecting our relationships
• Decide to try something different
• Brainstorm options for responding to conflict the next time it comes up
• When conflict arises, try to apply one of those options
• If we’re successful, look at what worked and what didn’t, and continue to improve our responses
• If we’re not successful, allow credit for trying, don’t beat ourselves up, and keep thinking about options for the next time

In a previous article (Finding Peace of Mind After a Conflict Depends on No One But Yourself), I shared my formula for dealing with conflict. It’s incredibly simple and simply works. Next time you run into conflict with someone, try using it to sort out your feelings, attitudes, and approach to resolution:

Inner Work First

1. Get clear about: a) How you feel – identify the feelings, b) What you were reacting to? – describe the behavior/situation/activity that the feelings arose from, c) That you are responsible for your reaction, no matter how “bad” the other person’s behavior.
2. Look at your part in the situation and examine your attitudes – can you admit the role you played?
3. Decide if you need to apologize for your part.
4. Determine what you want to say to the person to express your perspective.
5. Explore your motives for saying it.
6. Practice expressing your feelings with a trusted friend or write them down before communicating with the person you’ve had the conflict with.

Working with the Other Person

1. Come from a place of clear intention and good will. To do this, use “I” statements so that you stay in your own perspective and reduce temptation to comment on the other person’s intentions, motivations, behavior, or attitudes.
2. Admit your part in the conflict and apologize if that’s important for you.
3. Ask for what you would like/need from the other person to feel resolved now or in the future.
4. Stay detached from the other person’s response (good or bad).
5. Stay centered in good attitudes and intentions.
6. Let go of the outcome.

While the process is simple, it is not easy. It’s iterative, meaning we must go through it over and over again before it starts to come more naturally.

Attitudes underly our experience of life. If we want to feel better and have peace of mind, we must dig under the surface of our reactions and look at what’s causing them. Remember that we are never too old to change. It is always possible to improve our relationships, and it begins whenever we decide to begin.

So start today! And if you stumble over the first efforts to change, you can just start again. Every conflict is an opportunity to improve your attitudes, and thus your level of peace. Try it. Ready, set…go! 

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Photo credit: Brenda Starr

Our series on Peace at Any Point kicked off with the idea of making a PACT with yourself to: Practice Attitudes, Characteristics, and Techniques. Since practice applies to all three, we’ll weave it into our explorations of attitudes, characteristics and techniques. Today the focus is on attitudes.

at·ti·tude
noun
1. manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, especially of the mind: a negative attitude; group attitudes.
—Random House Dictionary

Attitudes have had a significant impact on the quality of my life. I started off with a set of pretty negative assumptions, including:

• The world is not a friendly place; it’s safer to hide than to risk being myself
• There is no purpose or spiritual direction outside of my will; I must make my own way and success in life
• I am not worthy of love, attention, or value
• My feelings are determined by other people’s feelings
• It’s my job to make everyone around me happy
• I don’t match society expectations for beauty and behavior, so I must be a loser
• Life is deadly serious – there’s no time for fooling around

These attitudes led me down the road of depression through college and into early adulthood and working life. Though I appeared to “function well,” I felt an inner emptiness that I tried to fill with romantic relationships. I thought if I had a boyfriend and the potential to meet societal standards of marriage and family, then I would feel whole inside.

As I’ve shared here before, it took an abruptly canceled engagement and four long years in an alcoholic relationship to bring me to the willingness to face my negative attitudes about life and to decide to change them.

How’s Your Attitude?

Attitudes shape our perspectives and are sometimes difficult to even recognize. And attitudes are contagious. So the question is: Are yours worth catching?

• Do you bring people down when you’re with them?
• Are you easily affected by others’ negativity?
• Do you get sucked into gossip sessions and use them to feel better about yourself?
• Are you envious of what others have?
• Do you suffer from self-pity?
• Do you pick fights, or are easily provoked into arguments?
• Do small things annoy you disproportionately?
• Do you find yourself naysaying others or putting them down?
• Is your instinctive response to invitations and opportunities to say no?
• Are you critical and judgmental toward yourself and others?

Answering yes to any of these questions may be a clue that you have underlying negative attitudes about life.

I wish changing attitudes were as easy as slipping off a negativity nightshirt and putting on a positivity parka. Unfortunately, changing attitudes is not like changing clothes. As I discovered, it takes a big first step – one of waking up and becoming aware. Before we can change, we must recognize the attitudes that have brought us to a place we don’t want to be.

For me, I had to hit a hard bottom – a place of pain so deep and sustained that I became willing to face my negative attitudes and begin to do something to change them. I realized that by living out my fear, self-doubt, anxiety, and insecurity, I was making myself miserable. How did I know? I was completely focused on someone else – a boyfriend – as the source of my peace and happiness. If he was not well, happy, and healthy, then how could I be? My attitudes and beliefs turned me on myself. I had no worth without a man; I had no peace without control over his moods and behaviors; I had no safety when he defied society’s expectations. If I kept on with this approach, I would soon lose myself completely, along with any shred of sanity or serenity.

And so I began the hard work of turning my attitudes around. I didn’t know how to be positive, but I didn’t want to live in deep fear anymore. I had to find a bridge from my accustomed ways of thinking to new ideas. I eventually found a set of practices that helped me work on attitudes, but each of us must find our own way to change.

Changing Attitudes

Although each of us must follow our own specific path, there are some general principles that guide changing attitudes. It’s important to:

• Consider that our perspective is not necessarily the only way to see things
• Be open to changing the way we think
• Let go of having to be right
• Embrace our humanity – everyone makes mistakes and it’s not the end of the world when we do
• Have compassion for ourselves and for others – stop listening to that harsh judge in our heads
• Take responsibility for our responses to the world – when we stop blaming others, we can find a lot more relief and serenity

In future posts we’ll look at ways to put these ideas into action. Changing attitudes takes a lot of practice – a theme we’ll be returning to here again and again. I couldn’t make an immediate shift from believing I had to manipulate and control my way through life to letting life unfold and trusting I would know what to do when it was time to do it. That shift has taken huge effort, a number of years and many tears as well as some laughter – largely at myself.

If you’ve had experiences with turning your attitudes around for the better, please share the process and the methods you’ve used. Everyone has to create their own path to peace, but we can all gain from others’ experience, and incorporate ideas that might work for us.

Next in the series, we’ll continue looking at attitudes, and also begin a discussion of the characteristics needed to effect internal change.

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Photo credit: kg.creative

At this time of year, we often talk of and hope for peace on earth. That goal is too large for one individual to effect – but each of us can start creating peace for all by focusing on creating peace within ourselves.

As the year nears its end and we rush about in a holiday frenzy, many of us wish we could just stop the world and get off for awhile. Follow the example of a traveling monk and crawl into a cave for a month, or a year, or several. Peace through isolation may not be realistic, but there are methods for fostering calm in the midst of chaos, methods that can be used at all times of year and for all of life’s conditions.

What would you give for peace at any point? Are you willing to trade in your anxiety and worry? Would you invest time and energy to learn new ways? How about giving up your resistance to change? These are among the costs for securing peace at any point in your life.

Finding peace at any point requires:

• Practice. Putting in lots and lots of practice.
• Attitudes. Changing from negative to positive.
• Characteristics. Building the traits that support change and growth.
• Techniques. Finding and committing to a discipline – a path that works for you.

Are you ready to make a PACT with yourself? Are you ready for peace at any point? Let’s take this journey together. We’ll explore individual stories of change, hear from some experts, and contribute our own ideas in the process.

Change is often a slow, incremental process. It starts, then stops, jerks along, and might even run smoothly at times. The important thing is to keep moving forward at whatever pace makes sense for you.

Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.
—Vincent Van Gogh

Next week look for articles on the topic of Attitudes and for the announcement of a new contest for generating ideas for peace of mind with special prizes for winning entries.

Subscribe now so you don’t miss the next articles in this series!

And the winner is…María Ortega García of Online Spanish Tutor! María submitted this collage representing the places and activities that bring her peace of mind:

Thank you, María, and look for the Serenity Basket coming your way!

More submissions will be featured in upcoming posts.

In Sanity and Serenity,

Linda

Photo credit: Gayang3

I don’t know about you, but my mind drives me crazy. Left to its own devices, it will run endlessly over the to-do list, throw worry after worry in the mix, play the game of “What If,” catastrophize from minor mishaps, torment me over errors small and large, and then ask me what the hell is wrong with me?!

For years I lived in this self-imposed torture, comfortable in my discomfort. But in all that time what I wanted most was peace of mind. Not wealth, not fame, not material goods, but peace in this fear-ridden, anxiety-driven brain of mine.

But how to find peace in the sea of insanity that is daily living? Everything around us tells us that our mind’s messages are correct and the only way to succeed. We must drive ourselves into the ground checking things off the list, being productive, and proving our work ethic to be successful in our careers. Likewise at home, we organize, schedule, repair, and take care of others. All of this relies heavily on the same crazy-making mind that then beats us up if we don’t get it all done well, on time, and just right.

Is it possible to escape the lunacy? Staying in our minds makes us crazy. No matter how much we do, how well, and how often, there’s always more. We drive ourselves relentlessly with no break, continually striving for resolution, achievement, success, perfection.

So what can we do to end the insanity?

The solution is obvious: we’ve got to go out of our minds.

“Are you out of your mind?!” you ask me, “my mind keeps me on track! Without it, and despite – or maybe because of – the judgment that comes along with it, I’d never get anything done!”

I’m telling you now, that is not true. Yes, the obsessively organized mind is important and can play a role in our lives. But it is not the only tool we have. When I say we’ve got to go out of our minds, I mean go out of our limited, fear-based mind. Expand into a greater world of knowledge that we have access to.

I had to go out of my mind to find peace. I’ll tell you how I did it.

Slowly. With great effort. Step by step.

It’s not an overnight transformation. But I did find relief along the way, and you can, too.

The first thing to recognize is this: the fearful mind – you know, the one that keeps us on the hamster wheel? – that’s not all there is to us. We have access to other aspects of mind, other ways of knowing. I don’t just mean intuition, though that is certainly part of it. I’m talking about trusting ourselves more deeply and drawing on a lifetime of knowledge that we have accumulated through thousands of experiences. When we open ourselves to these possibilities, we can begin to short-circuit the anxious mind.

It takes commitment – but not perfectionism.

It takes time and repetition – but it’s ok to forget, and remember, and then try again.

It takes practice – but no one is judging your performance.

It takes others – no one is an island, and if others have survived self-torture before you, why not learn from their experience?

If you’d like to learn more about how to short-circuit the crazy-making mind, stay tuned. Over the next few weeks, Insanely Serene will launch a new series on the process of finding peace of mind at any point. The series will include practical tips for getting started, developing a self-care routine, expanding access to your own wider knowledge, and sustaining a practice in peace of mind.

In this new Peace at Any Point series, I’ll share my own experiences of moving from depression and self-hatred to self-care and serenity, and offer perspectives from other experts who use a variety of techniques to bring themselves back to peace of mind time and again.

Because life will keep happening. And while no one is exempt from life’s extremes, it is possible to learn to weather them gracefully, gratefully, and well, and to feel good about yourself through the process.

I hope you’ll tune in again as we start this journey toward peace of mind together.

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Photo credit: KerryLinn Terace CowGirlZen Photography

Turkey isn’t the only thing to gobble today, and it’s not even the tastiest. As we celebrate the end of the fall and a bountiful harvest, the best thing on the menu is gratitude. It’s better than food for so many reasons:

• It’s an attitude anyone can choose at any time – no matter what’s going on (and holidays can come with plenty of drama, to be sure!)
• Gratitude feels good
• It can drown out negative thoughts and thinking
• Once we focus on gratitude, it makes everything else look brighter
• It’s contagious, and can help others shift their attitudes toward feeling good
• Gratitude is linked to love

Here’s the thing about gratitude – when we focus on it, we go out of our minds. In a good way! We go out of our analytical minds – that monster that needs to control things to feel ok – you know the one? When we go into gratitude instead, something short-circuits in the monster mind, and suddenly we’re free floating. The action of conscious gratefulness helps us access…another space in the mind. When we stop controlling with the analytical mind, and focus on the things we have and appreciate, it opens a door to the unknown. The hope of something different, something better.

Choose to be GRATEFUL and embrace:

Goodness – Gratitude feels good. It helps us focus on what’s good in ourselves, others, and the world. It takes us out of our normal mode, our analytical brain, and gives us access to a feeling of well-being.

Reality – When we acknowledge and accept things the way they are, and even have appreciation for them without judging them as “good” or “bad,” we are living in reality. We have a much better chance of finding peace when we simply accept life as it is and adjust our attitudes toward the positive.

Appreciation – Every human being has a deep need for appreciation and the best way to receive is to give. Look around for those things – large and small – that you can appreciate in others.

Tenderness – To be grateful, we need to be a little bit vulnerable, willing to open ourselves to feeling good, believing the best about the world, choosing goodwill over suspicion. Gratitude requires and engenders tenderness for ourselves and for others.

Effort – Since our minds tend toward the negative, it takes effort to focus on the positives, to look and notice and give consideration to the people, events, and world around us.

Fun – Choosing gratitude is a lot more likely to lead to having fun than choosing negativity. Wouldn’t you rather feel good, laugh, and enjoy yourself?

Unity – Gratitude generates compassion – both for ourselves and for others. By recognizing the good in each of us, we see each others’ humanity and foster unity over disharmony.

Love – The door opened by gratitude leads to love, unconditional, unquestioning love. Love bathes the mind, soothes negativity, brings peace, just plain feels good. Whenever you have a chance to step through that door, don’t miss out.

Take the gratitude challenge today:

• Really look at someone whom you don’t like or get along with and try smiling at them
• Say thank you and mean it at least 10 times
• Write a list in the morning of 5 things you are grateful for; write 5 more at night
• Whenever you have an uncharitable thought about someone, think of something you appreciate about that person
• Give something to another that you wish they would give to you
• Do a kindness for someone without their knowing it
• When you sit down to eat, suggest to your Thanksgiving party that each person say something they are grateful for
• Play a game – using the alphabet go around and have people name something they are grateful for starting with each letter

Gobble the goodness!